Claudia Chan

Today I’m going to touch on some of the signs of emotionally immature parents. 

One of the meaning is, they treat you as an adult when it’s convenient for them, but treat you as a child when it doesn’t serve them. 

Some examples for treating you like an adult: they keep asking you to take responsibility for your younger sibling, or pay bills, or translate for them. 

Anything that passes their responsibility off onto you. 

Some example for treating you like a child: maybe you want to give less money to them because you want to build up your savings, or you no longer want to put in as much effort to take care of the household. 

Or anything that inconvenience them, and they say things like, “You’re selfish”, or “I know what’s best for you.”

Now of course there is a spectrum. And yet, emotionally mature parents will still try to do their best and put in a lot of effort to take care of themselves as much as possible. And when they really need help, they will ask for it. Or they understand that the parents’ job is to raise our kids to become independent. 

And of course, we are all humans, so we’re not pointing the fingers at them to blame them. 

Yet there is a balance between putting in the effort into the collective household, verses ourselves. 

So this is to raise the awareness, to take ourselves out of the relationship, so we can examine what is happening, and recalibrating where we stand within this. 

So we can say, this is the amount I am willing to give. Vs, this is too toxic and I need to remove myself entirely. 

This is definitely a difficult situation to be in. So whenever you’re ready to go on this journey, book a time with me, and we’ll go on this together. 

You’re not alone. Sending you lots of love.