Claudia Chan

Every time I got asked the question of how I got into coaching, my brain would usually say, man.. I don’t know what I want to share.

Because there are so many experiences that coaching helped me in my life, so it wasn’t only one thing that got me into it.

In today's entry and the next four days, I’d like to touch on 5 stories.
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Story 1: My circumstances don’t define me.

The main one that started it all happened in my teens. ​

I was sitting in my room, staring out the window. As I was looking out into the backyard of all our neighbouring houses, and saw the blue sky.. I thought.. is this all there is to life?

My mom kept telling me that she wanted me to finish school, get a job, and she would be satisfied, because she wanted to make sure that I could support myself, take care of myself.

But I wanted more.. I wanted to do more in my life, I wanted to have more in my life.

Yet my mom’s voice echoed in my head:

“You’re not smart enough, the people who have businesses have brains that can turn very fast. Yours? Your brain turns too slowly.”

“You’re not articulate enough. If you share about what you want to sell, people will stop being your friend.”

“Life is like this, you have to accept it for what it is.”

Shame, of not being smart enough, articulate enough.

Fear, of being rejected by others.

Defeat, that I can’t do anything about my circumstance.

They swirled in my head and laid heavy in my chest. Feeling inadequate.

I wish.. I wish that I could shadow people who are smarter, more successful. I wish I could hear what they talk about with others, how they say things, how they think, what they do, how they do it, how to problem solve. If I can get a glimpse into what they do, maybe I can learn from them.

I always wished that my mom would guide me more, support me more, and here she is.

I learned that, it is because my mom didn’t support me, so I have to support myself even more. Look for my own people, mentors. So I can change my own life.

And this is how it all started…

Sometimes, because of how we were raised, maybe there is a part of us that believe that "this is what it is", or "this is all there is".

But what if, it is not true? What if we can change our lives around. What if we can have a dream and make it come true?

What if the reason why it feels true is because of all the things we are fed while growing up? What if your circumstance don't define who you are?

If that is the case, what would you want for yourself?