Claudia Chan

Today, I graduated as a Nichols Certified Facilitator!! 

On this Dec 1st day, I am so proud of myself. 

During the ceremony, Lisa Nichols and Sean Smith asked what does this graduation mean to me. 

Reflecting back on this past 15 years, I felt as if every step of the way was for me to build my lighthouse. 

So many times, I put my hands together and asked God, show me the way.. show me where You want me to go. 

And yet, I would be have a melt down, and I would scream and hyperventilate when I realized that He wanted me to get out of the boat and walk on water! 

Created my own colouring books, ran my own calligrahy business, established my coaching business, spoke in a speaking competition, became one of Lisa Nichols’ Speaker Advocate Coaches, and now getting into the next level of my coaching  business.

There were many moments where I wanted to give up, fear gripped my heart, tears soaked my face, doubts filled my head, “I can’t…. maybe I am not meant for this.”

And yet one after another, the right people showed up in my life. My partner, my friends, my coaches, my mentors, they held my hand and guided me to build every single brick of this lighthouse. 

Today Lisa said, “Is the light on?”

And I know.. I am at this step where I am ready to turn on this light. 

Another scary step. Going into another territory. 

But just as Sean says, every time you turn into a butterfly, it’s time to go back to being a caterpillar, get back into the cocoon to become the next version of you. 

I am terricited (Terrified and excited)! 

Thank you to all of you who believed in me and supported me all along. 

Sending you lots of love. Here we go! 

When I went trick or treating with him, because we went early, there weren’t a lot of kids around. So every door we came upon, he had to either ring the doorbell or knock on the door. 

And one of my thoughts was.. just press the doorbell, or knock on the door! 

Why can’t you just do it? 

Well guess what… that’s what I say to myself a lot. 

Back then when I wanted to say something to my mom, why can’t you just say something?

Back then when I wanted to speak up at work meetings, why can’t you just speak up? 

Now building up my business and talking to people, why can’t you just do it? 

Honest truth is, it is hard. 

And my nervous system had been trained to freeze since I was young. 

So it takes me extremely long to get myself to the next stage. 

Guess what? Midway through watching my son rang the doorbell, I silently said to him, “I’m so proud of you for being able to do that!” 

And I teared up. 

Cause I needed to hear that.

So if you need to hear it too. 

I’m proud for how far you’ve come, and how you’re now able to do whatever you can do now. 

And for the things you still want to do, but can’t yet? 

Let’s take it one tiny step at a time, we get to train our nervous system to calm down, so we can take the next step. 

My first celebration is I did my first Live Training in my FB group!! It’s about why we can’t speak up to our parents, and what we can do to prepare ourselves for the conversation. 

So if you would like to watch it and learn more, join my group, Journey to Me. 

https://www.facebook.com/groups/2249634185512389

A super embarrassing story, and yet, here we are. 

Having my mom followed me to the airport, and finding out I was lying. I wasn’t going to Buenos Aires alone, I was going with my bf. (I shared more of my story in the video) 

This was one of the bigger fights with my parents, because I could actually stand. 

There were so many times, I felt I couldn’t stand for me. I just kept being pushed. 

Every two steps I forge ahead, I was pushed back 10. 

And yet, it’s more than that. 

Not just external, it’s internal. 

It’s me against me. The internal guilt, that I wasn’t the good daughter they wanted me to be. The doubt, am I making the right decision? What if it was a bad one? The fear… of having to face my parents. 

If you know, you know. 

I’m sharing to let you know that I understand fully. 

And as much as we want to figure out what can we say or do to make them understand, there is no such thing. 

We can’t change them, we can only change ourselves. 

We let them be them, we let us be us. 

So let’s go on a journey, to heal ourselves, to figure out our wants, and build the courage to take that stand. 

If you want to join, there are so many ways. 

Come to the FB group “Journey to Me”

Join my 5-day free training to let go of guilt. 

Watch my training videos. 

Book a time with me. 

You’re not alone, we can do this, together. 

https://www.facebook.com/groups/2249634185512389

Join my FB group: Journey to Me - Adult Children Healing from Family Expectation to Freedom 

This is a group for Adult Children who have very traditional, controlling, manipulative parents, who now just want to live for themselves. 

I was the daughter who was very obedient, who wanted to please my family. I studied hard, and worked hard. And yet I wanted more than the traditional path. 

So when I came upon the time to decide on my life partner, I had to make a very difficult choice. Do I please my parents and make myself unhappy? Or do I choose myself, and watch them walk away? 

Because obedience equals love. If I don’t obey, that means I don’t love them, don’t respect them. 

It took me a long time to separate these two things. 

Luckily my parents came around. And yet I know there are many people whose parents are not like that, very toxic and controlling. 

And that’s why I created this group, so we can walk through this together. 

Because I know it can be quite lonely and scary. 

I’ll be creating training videos and sharing stories in this group. 

I’ll see you in there. 
https://www.facebook.com/groups/2249634185512389

I found this post a while ago, and I was called to share it with my client today, so I thought I’d share it with you too. 

The Letter Your Teenager Can’t Write You

by Gretchen L Schmelzer 

Know that the teenage years are going to be tough, there will be a lot of storm. 

No matter how much you do or how little you do, your kids are going to find something to blame you, and fight you with. And it’s nothing against you. 

They’re just growing, finding themselves. 

That is why I do my part to expand my capacity to hold myself, so I can hold my kid. 

If you’re watching this video, know that you’re already a good parent. 

And whenever you’re ready to learn how to walk this journey with your kid, book a time with me, so you and I can do this work first and foremost, so you can also do this with your kid. 

Sending you a lot of love. 

One of my beliefs is that, when we are brought into this world, we have chosen a life lesson for ourselves. 

And we come across people in our lives that are meant to be the obstacles, so we can learn the lessons. 

For example, while growing up, I constantly want to be able to make money outside of the traditional path, studying, and then working for someone. 

But whenever I shared my ideas with my mom, she would say things to discourage me. 

“Don’t sell things, people are going to stop being your friends.”

“You’re not smart enough, articulate enough to be a business woman!”

Constantly stopping me. 

It was only when I finally stood up for what I wanted, that was the first step for me breaking free. 

That’s when I realize, yeah.. my mom IS supposed to oppose me. Because I needed to believe in myself, hold onto my dream. And if she believes in me right from the get go… I wouldn’t have to learn this lesson. 

It’s a difficult concept to wrap our heads around, because.. why would the people closest to us do something like this? 

But if we can take a step back, and look at our lives from a Birds Eye view perspective. 

And block out the labels, “mom” “dad” “significant other” “son” 

And just see them as points of connection. 

How is this person my lesson? 

What is the lesson I have to overcome? 

Because here’s the thing, there are people in this world where they may run away from home because their parents are abuse. 

And yet once they run away, they still come across human after human who did the same thing to them. 

Same lesson, different faces. 

So the lesson will keep popping up until they’re willing to face it, to learn it. 

If you’re facing some struggles in life, and if you wonder why it keeps happening.. then I invite you to figure out what is the lesson? 

Not quite sure and want to have someone figure this out with you? Book a time with me. 

Sending you lots of love. 

Sometimes when our family lineage is experiencing some sort of pain, that gets passed from one generation to another. There will come one person, who is born into the family, to break the family free from this cycle. 

Now how do you know if you’re one. 

For example, you’re asked to support your family’s financial burden, to the point where it is extremely unfair to you. 

Or you are yelled at or hurt by your parents, and yet you are demanded to cast aside your feelings to show your parents respect. 

Or you are expected to sacrifice your desire to make your parents happy. 

All in all, it seems like you’re in constant conflict with your family, feeling a lot of pressure to do something out of expectation or obligation. 

If you have a huge urge to stand up for it, and yet, it seems like you’re all alone, everyone is against you. 

You’re probably in this role.

I know it may be difficult for you to see it, because you’re in the midst of it. And it’s so painful and difficult to endure. 

And yet, if you’re to ask yourself… if my daughter or son is put in this exact same position as me… what do I want to show them? 

Because here’s the truth, if you succumb and don’t stand up for yourself.. your children will do exactly what you do. 

Because children tend to do what they see, not what they hear. 

So be the example for your kids… break the cycle. 

I know it can be difficult. So I have a lot of free resources. You can check them out in the link below. 

https://www.reddit.com/user/Claudia_Chan/comments/1jautq5/free_resources

Or book a time with me. This can be a lonely journey, and yet, you don’t have to do it alone. Let’s do it together.