Claudia Chan

When I was having my fight with my mom, I wanted to get out. But since I grew up pampered, I was hesitant in moving out.

So truth was… moving out was too expensive, moving out meant sharing laundry with others, and these two things were kind of stopping me.

So what is stopping you?

I had created a few videos on the four area of independence (psychological, financial, physical, emotional), so which area do you need to work on?

Be honest with yourself, and list them out. Because once you list them out, sometimes it doesn’t seem as daunting as it’s inside your head.

Then learn to calm yourself down, like with my video, 3 techniques to reduce stress and anxiety.

Once you’re calmed enough, then you can figure out a plan for yourself. It may be a one year plan, or 3 years plan. And it’s a plan.

Being honest with yourself and being able to calm yourself down will let you see that you can indeed do something about your situation.

You’d gone through hardship before, you’d overcome difficult situations before, this is just another one of them.

I get it, it seems like everyone and everything is against you, and yet, you have what it takes to overcome this.

You’re not alone let’s do this together.

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Sept 1st, which means we will have four months. And as I was thinking about what I want to achieve, I want to share what does it mean to be in transformation.

Transformation has 3 parts.

Irritation - the part that you’re angry, frustrated, irritated about.

Declaration - what you no longer tolerate

Surrendered action - you’re unattached to the results while you take the action

for me, I know a lot of my clients are actually annoyed and irritated that their parents are controlling them. And they no longer want their parents to dictate how to live their lives.

And for others, maybe they want better health or a new job, and they’re frustrated that it seems every time they want to make the change, something happens that stops them. And their declaration may be, I no longer let these things stop me.

It’s only when you can notice the irritation, and make the declaration, then we can move into the surrendered action.

So what do you want changed in your life? what is your irritation and your declaration? Once we can identify these, then we can move onto the next step.

Send me an email or comment below. Would love to know your response.

If you feel stuck… you’re not alone.

Sometimes I feel like this too, and today is one of those days.

One of the practices I do is to say Thank You.

So today I just want to share my gratitude list.

It may seem like you’re holding onto stuckness too. I want you to know that you’re not alone. I invite you to do this for yourself. Saying thank you for all the good, the bad and the ugly.

Sending you lots of love.

Yesterday, I went to the mall, and my son wanted to buy something from the bookstore. Before we left, I saw this Hello Kitty planner, which was really cute. And he asked, mommy, are you getting anything?

I thought about it, and said, no. 

Last night, I came across one of my coach’s videos. He said, a lot of times, we would write an IOU to our subconscious mind. 

If we succeed, then we will… 

Yet a lot of times, when we did succeed, we tend not to fulfill that promise. 

Or worse, others times, we gave up before we even got the result. 

And our subconscious mind knows that, we were just lying to it. 

So that’s why our subconscious mind didn’t want to do what we want to support us (what our conscious mind wants, ie work out to have better health, or work on our business to make us successful) 

He said, our subconscious mind doesn’t care about money or success. He said it’s like a 3 yo, very easy to have tantrums. It just knows what it wants, and what it doesn’t want. 

So I’m figuring out what mine wants. 

So that I can get it to align with my conscious mind. 

What do you think about this? Would love to hear your thoughts. 

In my previous video, I talked about how when we want to do something that we’re afraid of, we may sometimes come up with reasons, or latch onto someone to “blame” our anxiety on. 

When we are able to separate other people’s actions, and dive in deep to figure out what we’re really scared of, the next step is to take surrendered actions. 

A lot of times we don’t want to take actions because of the disappointment we’ll get from the results. 

So after a few tries, when we don’t see what we want, we may give up. 

Surrendered action is to take the action while separating out the result. Separating out what we can control from what we cannot control. 

By doing this, then we can celebrate our efforts, and keep trying, doing whatever it takes to eventually get that result. 

This also gives us a chance to practice speaking nicer to ourselves. Letting us know that we are indeed moving along toward where we want. 

I recently came across a few posts, saying that they feel overwhelmed, frustrated that their moms were pressuring to find a job. 

Today, my question for you, is it really your mom? Or is there something inside of you holding you back?  

While growing up, I always thought that, “if only my mom was more supportive of me”. 

I quit one of the MLMs, and then there were so many times my mom would say things, “You’re not articulate enough..”

So when I got married, I thought, now I have more time and opportunities! 

I started off with colouring journals, then calligraphy and engraving. 

But each time I lost interest and jumped. 

It was through my own inner work, that I realized.. it’s because I was scared to show up. 

Afraid to be judged, didn’t want to seem like I don’t know what I’m doing, so I held myself back from saying, “hey, look at me! This is what I offer, work with me!”

In one of my previous videos, I talked about fear is 2 steps away. 

It’s not going to say, hey, don’t show up because you’re not enough. 

It’ll say, oh, look at your mom going on and on pressuring you, so let’s use her as an excuse (not saying your mom is not annoying). 

Or oh look at this job, you don’t have the appropriate qualifications. 

The reasons are always two steps away. 

So how we go about figuring out what exactly we’re scared of, we have to cut out our parents actions.

If my mom is not pressuring me. What am I saying about myself? 

Give ourselves time to sit and discover that for ourselves. 

Then we can calm ourselves down and figure out what are some actions we can take. 

I hope you give yourself a chance to figure that out. 

If you have questions after watching this, ask me, so I can explain some more. 

Ready to do this work? Book a time with me. 

Pressure from mom? Or from yourself? 

Maybe there are still people or things in your life that you want to let go of. 

Maybe your ex walked out on you, or maybe your mom hurt you so badly that you’re still holding onto it. 

You’re so angry, you’re still in so much pain, and you want to let it go already, because you don’t want it to control you anymore, you don’t want to be defined by it anymore. 

When other people ask you how you’re doing, you thought, I can’t share this.. because I’m still mad, sad or upset about this! 

When you talk to other people, they may say, it’s time to let go, and you’re like, I want to, but how?! 

I’m going to share with you two practices. You get to choose whichever one suits you best. 

Practice 1 - Letter Ascension Exercise

(10 consecutive days practice) 

On the first 9 days:

In the comfort of your own room, get a piece of paper, sit in front of it. And conjure up the person’s image in your head. 

Set a timer for 10 min, and write whatever comes to your mind. 

You can tell them how much you hate them. 

How much you love them. 

How much they hurt you. 

What you wish could happen. 

How they make you feel. 

What did they take away from you.

What you wish you can do to them. 

What they could have done. 

etc. 

For 10 min, write whatever that comes to mind.

If you finish early, see if you can continue until the 10 min is up.

If you need more time to write, then keep writing until you’re done. 

If any emotions come up, let them come up. 

If you need to stop, you can stop to scream, hit the pillow, pound on the bed, cry. Let it out, don’t hold back.

Still crying or screaming when the timer dings? Continue with the emotion until you have nothing left. 

With whatever you’d written, rip the paper into pieces. You can throw it in the trash, or burn it if you wish. 

Thank yourself for doing this hard work. 

Continue the Letter Ascension Exercise for 9 days. 

As you continue, you’ll feel that each day, the feeling will become less and less, until there is no more.

Complete all 9 days, even if it feels repetitive. 

On the 10th day, write a thank you letter. 

This letter is to thank the person for any and all lessons you’ve learned. 

Ie. 

Thank you for (hurting me/walking out on me) so that I am.. / I learned… 

Because of you, I can now… 

Keep writing all the lessons you’ve learned until you have no more left. 

Once you’re done, read the letter out loud. 

And feel the warmth, strength, love inside of you. Feel how much you’ve grown and expanded. 

Thank yourself for doing this hard work. 

If you need more time after the 10 days, continue until you’re ready to write the thank you letter. 

Practice 2 - Phoenix Rising Meditation 

(9 consecutive days practice)

In the safety of your own room, identify the person and three 3 scenarios (with that person) you’d like to break free from/let go of. 

Find a comfortable spot, sit with your back straight.

Close your eyes. 

Take a deep breath in slowly, and out twice as long. 

In front of you, imagine that there is a big pit of raging fire. A fire that is so hot that it will burn down anything that comes near it. 

Walk up as close to it as possible, feel the heat on your face. 

Whenever you’re ready, think of the first scene. 

Imagine it playing on a screen in front of you. And as this scene plays, feel some of the feelings that come up in your body…

As the scene runs, imagine the screen float toward the raging fire… the screen starts cracking and crumpling up.. shrivelling up into a ball. 

As the ball goes up in flame, you can let out a silent scream, or scream into the pillow, or let the tears flow. 

As the ball turns into ashes.. feel that memory and feeling dissolve… as they get erased and removed from your body and mind. 

Summon the second scene in your mind’s eyes and recall some of the feelings. 

Let the scene play on the screen in front of you.. as it enters the flame… watch it crack and crumple into a ball. 

As it gets engulfed in the flame, let the flame turn everything into nothing. 

Letting the flame remove the memory and the emotions from your mind and body. 

Now, call up the third scene, recalling some of the feelings.. 

While it plays on the screen let it move towards the flame… watch, as it cracks and crumples into a ball. 

Watch as the flame burns everything down. 

Feel, as the memory and the emotions are removed from your mind and soul. 

as it comes to completion, 

A wind of speckled golden dust rises up in the middle of the flame.. 

And the most beautiful and magnificent phoenix rises up into the air and flies around you.

Wrapping you with waves of love. 

Letting you know that 

you are not alone, 

that you are loved, 

That you’re stronger and wiser now.

And as you feel the warmth.. thank yourself for doing this hard work. 

Continue the Phoenix Rising Meditation with the same person and same scenarios for 9 consecutive days. 

Thank you for doing this work for you.

Sending you lots of strength and love.

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