Claudia Chan

So I got pretty pissed off yesterday, because I spent 2 hours typing out all five of my stories in the note app on my laptop. But when I went to retrieve it on my phone, the wifi on my laptop glitched. So rather than my phone synching to my laptop’s update, my laptop synched to my phone’s update. And I lost everything.

Which means I had to type it all out again.

So today, I’m going to share with you Story #2 of why coaching helped me with my life.

Maybe you’d read it before, maybe this is the first time you’re reading this.

When I was dating my now husband, my parents disapproved of my relationship. For four years, between 2011-2015, my household flipped upside down.

Each time I went out with Anthony, I tip toed around the house while getting ready. Then as I went down the stairs, I took a deep breath in, walk briskly up to my mom to say, “Ma, I’m not coming home for dinner tonight”, bracing for any glaring eyes, scowl on the face, or loud yelling, then I would dash out the door to avoid any bombs going off.

During those four years, guilty sat on my chest, as I witnessed the nightly panic attacks or the breast cancer that my mom went through.

Then on this one winter night in 2015, the words finally came, “If you love mom, then give up your relationship!”

The world stopped spinning for a moment.
You mean… if I go after what I want, that means I don’t love mom?

But, why do I have to give up what I want for someone else?

At that moment, I saw two paths. On one side, I decided to let go, my family was happy, and yet I plunged into darkness. On the other hand, I chose the love of my life, and yet my heart shred to pieces as I watch my family walk away…

It wasn’t easy, and yet I was grateful for all the people who were willing to listen to me, and supported me in my decisions, giving me the strength.

I also had to overcome the fear of potentially making a mistake. I kept thinking, what if this is the wrong choice and my mom was right? I had to come to terms that, no matter what happens, it is my responsibility to take care of myself.

I did eventually choose myself.

This happened way before I came across coaching.

And yet, when I started on my coaching journey, I found myself healing through many of those ups and downs. It took care of my old wounds and pains.

Even though the ordeal was over, my body never had a chance to process all the fear, the guilt, the shame, the frustration, the disappointment, the grief.

Even a week or so ago, when I saw this one line on an IG post, I started crying.

“Promise me, that even when we fight, you still believe I’m a good person”

My younger self needed to hear that…

even though I fought tooth and nail with my mom, I still wanted to hear that I am a good person, a good daughter, a good girl.

I know that there are many people who are going through this with their family, with their parents. And as a coach, I am here as a guide, as a companion. Because I wished that there was someone who was able to support me, and guide me through.

And this wraps up my second story of how coaching benefited me.