Claudia Chan

Today, it’s my fourth story about how coaching helped me break through mom guilt

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At the time I was running my calligraphy business, my son was around 1-2 yo, and I was also working full time (I’m still working full time).

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And I knew of a girl who was also a calligrapher, who was a stay at home mom. She was producing a lot of work.
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I remember one time, I had really horrible thoughts about her.

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“How is she able to come up with all these things? I mean of course, look at her, she has a mother in law who stayed home to help take care of her kids. I don’t have that luxury of that! And geez.. look at her work, it’s not that great anyways, who does she think she is?”

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I was jealous and was very critical of her.

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Then one night, all I wanted was for my son to go to sleep at a certain time, so I could start working on my writing. Of course, he was fighting me, and didn’t want to go sleep. By the time he was done, it was already late.
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I sat at the desk.. staring at my work..

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Then my mom’s voice came on, “What are you doing? You’re supposed to be taking care of your son? you’re a mom now!”

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Resentment washed over my chest… Why do I have to give up my dreams for my son?
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“What’s the use? I’ll never get there…” tears poured down my face.

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When my husband found me crying, he asked what’s wrong? Upon hearing my response, he said, “Babe, let me know how else I can help so you can have more time”
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That made me feel even more guilty.
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Not being a mom who takes care of her son, and not being a wife who takes care of her family.
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It was through coaching, that I started making these beliefs conscious.
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I don’t have to spend100% of my time being with my son (like my mom) to be a good mom.
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I can rely on my husband to take on the responsibility in the household, and still be a good wife.

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Coaching allowed me the space to explore these expectations handed down to me through society, culture and generations.
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Sometimes, we have a tendency to feel that we have no other choice from what we’re doing because our expectations were handed to us by our parents, and we may feel we haven’t lived up to a “standard”.

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Have you ever wanted to do something for yourself, but feel guilty because you’re neglecting your role and putting yourself first?
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I had to go thought that myself in order to get to where I am.
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As a coach, I work closely with mothers so they can explore these invisible binds, and decide if they would like to be released from them, so they can go after their own dreams.
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If you’re interested to work on this for you, send me a message or book a free 20-consult with me.