Claudia Chan

While growing up, I never showed my anger, because whenever I responded angrily at something, I would get yelled at.

“Why are you angry about this? I should be the one who’s angry!”

So I had to stuff down my anger, believing that I have no right to be angry.

And I see this so often in my clients, they either believe that anger is not good, or they don’t have a right to be angry.

And sometimes, I‘d hear people say, “I don’t know why I’m so angry all the time, what can I do to make it go away?”

Or “I’d been working on my anger, but I still feel so much of it in me, I’m so tired of this.”

And this is what I always say:

Being angry is ok.

We’d been conditioned to believe that being angry is not ok. Something’s wrong us when we’re angry.

But when we don’t let our emotions come out, it boils over, and sometimes it affects the people around us, like we have a bad temper around our kids, and they don’t want to be close to us.

So what can we do about it?

Simply allow it to come out without shaming it.

It’s ok to feel angry.

Now of course, we don’t want to direct this anger at anyone. So please find a safe spot where you are alone.

And allow yourself to scream, yell, curse, or say whatever you need it out of your system.

If you want, you may also allow yourself to hit a pillow, hit the bed, or hit something that is not breakable.

And after the screaming, it may turn into tears, it may turn into sadness, or you may feel better.

Just let yourself feel all the emotions.

Once you’d given yourself plenty of time to let it out, then you can ask yourself, “what do I need to move forward”?

And then do that, or get that fulfilled.
You may find you’ll have more patience with others and with yourself once you have let your anger out.
Find it intriguing? Give it a try, and let me know how it feels afterwards, would love to hear about your experience.