Claudia Chan

There were a few people who’d been telling me that they have no motivation to do anything.

They just scroll online mindlessly, being on the internet, watching movies.

They want to do more, and yet a part of them think it’s a waste of time, or in the back of their minds, they’re wondering what’s wrong with them for wasting their lives away.

Sometimes, some of us may be unmotivated simply because we had been hustling for so long.

For me, when I was in my 20s or 30s, I was doing things that didn’t spark joy.

I volunteered at an organization, and even though I enjoyed it mostly, whenever they asked me to contribute more, I got annoyed. It felt like it has to be on my term.

Then when I decided to get my masters degree, it felt as if it was just to add three more letters behind my name, because there was nothing else worth doing.

Deep down, it really wasn’t what I wanted it.

It was just about doing things that could bring in more money, or climb up the ladder… something to “feel proud” about.

But I wasn’t proud.

Deep down it wasn’t for me.

And I got to a point where I didn’t want to do anymore sh*t.

I didn’t want anything in my life, I was not motivated.

Even when other people asked me what I wanted, all I could think of is.. I friggin’ don’t want to do anything else! (Even though parts of me were intrigued with different things)

All I wanted to do was lie down and sleep, or doing nothing or scroll on the internet for the whole day.

Here’s what I learned. There is nothing is wrong with wanting that.

But my Inner Critic would come at me.

When I wanted to rest, it would say “NO! You aren’t allowed to rest!”

I’d then force myself to do something, but because I didn’t want to, I ended up procrastinating, so my Inner Critic Drill Sergeant would continue, “What’s wrong with you? You have all the time in the world, and you wasted all of it, and you’re still not done! You’re friggin’ useless!”

And this made me even more unmotivated to do anything!

It was an exhausting cycle​

One of the things I found worked for me was to really allow myself to rest and have fun.

When I was told that I could deliberately choose to have fun (I could give myself the permission to rest and have fun), it shifted something in me.

And when my Inner Critic yells at me, I would speak back at it, “Shut up! I get to do whatever the F I want!”

It was actually really tough because my Inner Critic wouldn’t shut up.

But slowly and surely, when I decide this is a time for me, and stop myself from feeling bad, my motivation started coming back slowly.

And for things that are really optional, I’d ask myself, “Do I really have to do it?”

So really allow yourself to take some rest and fun.

Because if you can’t enjoy your life now, then what’s the point of working hard and living?