Claudia Chan

Sometime, we may believe that our parents “should” love us, have the patience for us because they are our parents. 

And because they don’t… we somehow believe that it’s because we didn’t do enough, we are not worthy enough. 

But what if they actually don’t have the capacity for it? 

What if, when we stand up for ourselves, they make us feel guilty, because they personally were made to feel guilty? 

What if, when we do something amazing, and we turn to them hoping that they will celebrate us.., but they brush us aside… make us feel disappointed, because they are disappointed in themselves? 

What if all these guilt, disappointment, pain that they give us… is not ours to carry? it’s just simply a reflection of their lives? 

One of my mentors talked about the concept of ice cream machine. 

You stand in front of an icecream machine, hoping that it’s chocolate. But when you pull the lever, it gives you vanilla. 

And when you look at the label, you see vanilla.  You don’t pull the lever again to expect chocolate… 

So the question is, how long are you going to stand in front of the icecream machine, hoping that it’ll give you chocolate? 

Similarly, how long are you going to stand there, expecting your parents will give you the love, the support, the affection… when they don’t have the capacity to? 

How long are you going to keep holding onto the guilty, disappointment, pain… when these are what they’re personally carrying… and it is not yours to begin with? 

It is a deep concept, and at the same time, when you are ready to let go… you’ll be so much freer. 

Ready to do this work? Book a time with me. It’s time to live your life according to you. Let’s do it together.