It's September already!!
Can’t believe it's back to school. Our son is going to Gr 1 on Tuesday! New school! Have a mixture of excitement and nervousness!
This Thursday, I’d like to invite you to join me and my good friend Magda Diaz, from Elemental Truth, to redefine what it means to be a “good mom”.
In this post, I'd like to talk about acknowledging our kids.
A week ago, I took a nap prior to dinner. When I got up, we were close to eating, so I got a set of knife and fork to cut up my son‘s food.
Once I started cutting, I noticed a set of knife and fork set out by my son. But since I already used mine, I asked him to put the clean ones back.
He went into a full meltdown, because I asked him to put “his” knife and fork away.
At that moment, I thought.. arrgg, what’s the big deal anyway? It’s just a knife and fork.
I was trying to stay calm, but a part of me was like, Really? What the f-? 😤
He went on crying. I tried to ignore him by continuing to cut up food. Then eventually, my husband started hugging him.
Upon seeing this, I took a deep breath, and said, “I‘m sorry, I didn’t see your knife and fork. Are you upset because I didn’t use your knife and fork?”
He nodded, I said I’m sorry again. And then I told him, “I appreciate you putting it out, it’s just sometimes Mama doesn’t see things in front of me, so I missed it. Next time please let me know so I can see it.”
Then he calmed down, and went back to his happy self.
And just yesterday, he pointed out that he’d put out the cutleries for me.
Now you may ask, why is it important to acknowledge our kids? The world doesn’t do that. Wouldn’t it make my kid feel disappointed once he/she goes out into the real world, and doesn’t get appreciated?
And I’d like to propose that, THAT is the exact reason why I believe it’s important to acknowledge my kid.
So often, we put in an effort, but don’t receive a thank you. The world dismisses our effort, and it hurts like hell, but we were told to suck it up, that's how it is! And guess what? We end up dismissing our own effort!
How many times had we set a goal, accomplished it, and then went immediately to our next goal?
Or how many times did we do something, but rather than looking at the progress we'd made, we kept looking at the things we did wrong?
The truth is, no one can appreciate us more than ourselves, but because our parents never showed us how to appreciate ourselves, we didn't know how to do it, and end up dismissing our children's effort too!
I want to change that for my son. I want to demonstrate to my son I appreciate him, I see his effort. So he can learn to see his own effort, without needing to rely on others.
When I can encourage him, he can learn to encourage himself to keep trying, even when other people tell him no.
When I can appreciate his effort, he can learn to appreciate his effort, even when he fails and other people laugh at him.
When I can celebrate him, he can learn to celebrate himself, and continue to pursue his dreams!
Going after our dreams can sometimes be a lonely and scary journey.
But if we can understand what it means to appreciate our efforts, to celebrate ourselves, and have our own backs, it will make it easier for us to continue on our path.
So this is not just about acknowledging our kids. it is to learn to acknowledging ourselves.
and I invite you to join me to go on this journey, so we can demonstrate it to our children.