Claudia Chan

Professional Certified Life Coach
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Acknowledging situation + feelings = empower yourself

July 1, 2024

Today I share something that may be a bit controversial.

Because there is a lot of suffering in the world. And we can’t change it fully, but we have the potential to change it bit by bit within us.

Recently there is a post on Reddit, the Original Poster said that she felt very uncomfortable wearing a bra since she was young, but family and school had been very harsh against her, manipulating and forcing her to keep wearing one. Now that she’s older, she doesn’t want to wear one, but whenever she does that, people are leering at her, talking about her, laughing at her, mocking her, and she doesn’t know what she can do to stop fighting it.

I understand that it can be very upsetting, annoying, frustrating, aggravating, especially feeling oppressed by how she’s being treated for it. Because the truth is, she should be able to do what she wants to.

In the ideal world. People should respect that she doesn’t want to wear a bra. It is not right to hurt her for living how she wants.

And yet, because society has already dictated that women “should” be wearing a bra, and when they refuse to wear one, they get shamed for it, mocked for it, leered at.

This is the current reality.

So if this is me, how would I go about living that?

First, I’ll have to acknowledge two things.

I’ll have to acknowledge the current reality.

There will be creepy men leering at me if I don’t want to wear a bra.

There will be people talking about me for not wearing a bra.

There will be people trying to hurt me if I don’t want to wear a bra.

This is the reality. Not saying that it is the right thing to do to me, of course I don’t want that, yet to give myself that power, I will have to acknowledge that this is what people will do.

The second thing I have to acknowledge are the feelings I have toward it.

I’ll feel mad that other people are trying to stop me.

I’ll be scared when guys try to come up to hurt me.

I’ll be agitated when they say mean things about me.

I’ll feel oppressed, helpless, hopeless for “needing” to follow society’s rules.

Once I processed these two things, then I can decide what to do.

“If this is the reality, what do I want for myself?”

Here’re some examples.

Today,

I will take some self defence classes so I can protect me.

I want to stand up for myself, and I want to give the finger to whoever acts out of line.

I want to walk up to the people who talk shit about me, and I challenge them in the face for being rude to me.

I want to look for people who support this agenda, who are doing the same thing, so I can walk proudly down the street without my bra.

I want to not care about what other people say, even when they gawk at me.

I want to feel the freedom in doing what I want, despite other people saying bad things about me.

I want to find joy in going out without a bra, and no matter what other people do, I am being who I am.

I want to inspire other women who also feel the same way, and are seeking the same freedom.

I am willing and ready to fight for me, no matter what.

I’m too tired today, so I’m going to put on another layer of clothes so no one looks at me.

Here’s the thing, going against “the norm” is an uphill battle.

By acknowledging the situation and our feelings, we may be able to see that we have more power over ourselves, because WE can then decide what we want for us, even when other people may be against us.

Acknowledging something doesn’t make it right, this is just the first step to own our own power.

Because at the end of the day, we get to decide what we want to do, because no one else gets to change us.

What is something that you feel pressured to do, and yet you feel there is “no other options” but to follow?

Claudia Chan

Professional Certified Life Coach

TORONTO, ONTARIO CANADA

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