Claudia Chan

Professional Certified Life Coach
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Dealing with critical or demanding mothers/in-laws

December 21, 2023

Recently, I’d been coaching a few people on dealing with their critical or demanding mothers (or in-laws).

They are getting fed up and upset because all they wanted is for their moms to change. Wanting their moms to show them acceptance, understanding, love, appreciation….

Here’s what usually happens, their moms:

Always find ways to criticize them.

Always tell them how they should do things.

Always question if they made the right decision.

Always ask them for more money, more help….

Never appreciate what they’d done.

Never care about their feelings.

Never try to understand what’s really going on in their lives.

If you’re dealing with the same thing, I understand how upset, frustrated and helpless you feel. 

And I also want to share this sad news with you:

Your mom (or in-law) is NOT going to change.

It doesn’t mean you can’t do anything about it, but accepting this fact will help you move forward.

It is important to grief for the loss and heal the pain.

Grieving for the loss of the “ideal mom” that you never have. 

And taking time to process the pain that they’d caused you. 

Then moving on to decide HOW YOU want to show up in the relationship.

You can still have a relationship with your mom. Maybe, it can be…

🤔I only visit twice a month for 2 hours each time.

🤔I talk to my mom once a month on the phone.

🤔I don’t talk to her at all.

And when she acts in her old ways, you get to decide how you want to respond and stand up for you.

It takes time to set up the boundaries, yet it can be done.

You are the owner of your life, and learning to stand strong and speak up for yourself is an important part of living your life.

If you’re ready to say, NO MORE! I want to do this for me! and you’re interested to explore what is possible for you, book a 20 min consult with me, and see where it can take you.

Claudia Chan

Professional Certified Life Coach

TORONTO, ONTARIO CANADA

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