Claudia Chan

Professional Certified Life Coach
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Thank you, you're not alone

December 19, 2023

First of all, I just want to say thank you, thank you for all that you’d done. For your family, for your kids, for your spouse, your parents, your in-laws. All the things you did for your friends, and even to that stranger you just met.

So it is important for me to ask you to pause.

Pause right here.

Because, Thank you.

I see you. I see all the things you’re doing for others.

I also see all the times you held yourself back.

When other people ask how you’re doing, even though part of you is screaming, I need help! I’m falling part! I have no idea what I'm doing! I’m struggling and would really appreciate some help here!…

Another part of you quickly brush it to one side, slap a smile on your face, and said, “Everything’s going fine!”

And as quickly, you diverted the question back to them, asking what they’d been up to, what they’d been dealing with, to see how you could help them…

Just so that you could feel better.

But this better was only temporary.

Because this buried voice would rear its ugly head from time to time

What about me???

I’d done so much for you, why wouldn’t you do the same for me??

Why does no one seem to care?

Then Guilt takes over, and words of scorn slashes across your head. Of course no one cares, look how selfish you are!

You haven’t done enough!

If you’re capable, you wouldn’t be struggling!

So you buckle up and move on.

Taking on the world again all by yourself.

I want to say I see all that.

I see you.

Because for the most part, that was me, that is still me. Trying to take care of everything on my own.

And yet, it doesn’t have to be this way.

I can lay down the judgement. I can ask for help and accept what is given to me.

I have to see that I am worthy to be taken care of. See that I am valuable to share my voice. And it means nothing about me if and when I do ask for help.

It is in fact necessary, and honourable for me to ask for me. So that I can take care of me.

Putting myself first no matter what.

It is not selfish, but necessary, in order to love all of me, to fill my own cup, so I can help others even more.

If you’re struggling with things in your life, reach out to me.

I want you to know that I see you, and I understand. You’re not alone. So let’s do this together.

Claudia Chan

Professional Certified Life Coach

TORONTO, ONTARIO CANADA

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