Claudia Chan

Professional Certified Life Coach
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When dismissing fear ➡️ “Something’s wrong with ME”

January 11, 2024

In Nov, I brought my son to get his booster Covid shot. While we were walking into a building, there was another mom and her two kids. The younger one was a bit scared. The mom said, I’d done it so many times, I’m not scared. Your brother is not scared either.

Once inside the clinic, there was another girl who was screaming and crying, her dad was trying to calm her down, but she kept screaming. And at the end her dad said, “Don’t hit yourself.” Followed by her response, “What’s wrong with me?”

My heart broke 💔

This is one of the damaging effects of dismissing fear.

When you were growing up, have you ever been told, don’t be scare! Why are you scared? There is nothing to be scared of!

When we keep telling ourselves and our kids that there’s nothing to be scared of, what happens is, when we feel scared, our brains believe that we’re the only one experiencing it!

Others are not scared! Why am I scared? Something must be wrong with me!

But it gets a bit more complicated than that.

When we want to do something and feel scared, our brains quickly dismiss the fear but our bodies still feel the fear, so our bodies hold back from moving forward.

We feel very uncomfortable in this conflict, so our brains will try to get us to do something else to make us feel better

CUE the food searching, social media scrolling, Netflix binging, game playing, email checking, etc.

Then after some time, the critical part of our brains starts:

Why aren’t you doing this? You should have done this earlier!

Guilt.

You’re such a procrastinator, you don’t have it in you. You’re not cut out for it.

Shame.

Repeat it enough times, and we believe we are the problem..

Dismiss fear, and we get stuck believing that something’s wrong with us..

To undo this.. we’ve got to became aware of the fear.

Face it.
Hold it.

Rather than dismissing it, we teach our brains it’s ok to be scared.

And that’s what my friend, Phoebe Maina and I will be doing this Friday during our free community hour.

Giving our bodies a chance to come face to face with fear. Learning to hold it, love it.

Claudia Chan

Professional Certified Life Coach

TORONTO, ONTARIO CANADA

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