The truth is, posting about myself has been very triggering for me.
I’d been taught not to air out dirty laundry, whatever happens behind closed doors stay behind closed doors.
I’d been told to put myself together well before leaving the house, to show that I am capable.
I’d been told however good my result is, it’s nothing to brag about, because there are other people who’re better than me.
I’d been told whatever struggle I’m going through is nothing compare to other people’s.
Other people always have it better than me, or worse than me.
Which translates to, other people’s lives are worthier than mine.
Have you ever experienced that? Like you’re trying to share your win, the other person said, “Oh I know another person who’s doing the same thing! And let me tell you how much better the other person is at it!”
You tried to share your struggle, and the other person try to one-up you, “You think it’s bad? Let me tell you how bad mine is.”
Or you try to share something caused you have a darker deeper emotion, and because they don’t know how to handle it, they try to do things to make you feel better immediately.
I’d experienced all of it, AND I’d done all those things to other people too.
Now that I’ve learned so much about myself (and still learning), and understanding this whole idea of being seen. I see how detrimental all those things can be to our growth.
When we keep getting shot down, we stop sharing our stories.
I always thought that I was a very private person, or that there’s really nothing interesting about myself, so I never shared much about myself.
But the truth is, it’s because I was scared to share, because when other people dismiss my story, my identity gets dismissed. That’s too painful! So I don’t end up sharing.
And when I don’t share, no one really knows anything about me, and I end up believing that no one understands, no one is going to listen to me anyways.
So it’s like being in a cyclical toxic chain of thoughts working against ME!
I don’t share because no one would listen, but it’s all because I was too scared to get hurt, which leads my my brain to believe that no one really understands, and it goes around and around.
But it all comes down to this: Do I believe that I’m worthy? Do I believe my story is worth sharing?
How I see myself, is what I believe about myself.
If I don’t see myself as worthy, I’ll always put myself down, not using my voice, not sharing my story.
If I don’t see myself as worthy, I’ll always depend on other people’s reactions to gauge whether or not I speak up.
AND If I don’t see myself as worthy, I’ll always hold myself back from doing bigger things, I settle!! Because I believe I am not worth expanding, and becoming bigger!
That’s why many people hold themselves back from going after their dreams!
They are scared of what other people will say about them, laugh at them, make fun of them.
But really, they’re scared of disappointing themselves, they’d been using their own results to determine their worth.
This is where self-love comes in.
Learn to love yourself so much, that you don’t give two sh*ts about what other people say about you!
Learn to love yourself so much that you can share your stories with others!
Learn to love yourself so much that, even when you think your story is boring, it’s extraordinary to you!
Because when you see yourself as extraordinary, and you see the experiences you have are extraordinary, THEN you’ll be more willing go after more extraordinary things!
My stories, I had believed for the longest time, were too plain and not worthy to be shared!
But it’s not true! My stories are worthy of being told!
I’m worthy to use my voice.
I am worthy to have an extraordinary life, and so do you! (And I’m still learning all these as I go!)
And what does extraordinary mean?
It means how you want it to mean. It just means, you take control over your own life, YOU define it for yourself.
You are worthy to tell your stories.
You are worthy.