Claudia Chan

Professional Certified Life Coach
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Birthday Love Letters to My Past Selfs

July 9, 2024

Today is my 44th birthday, and I want to write a love letter to my 14, 24 and 34 yo me. 

To my 14 year old self. 

Hey gf, this was the year you just finished Gr 8, about to head into Gr 9. You grew so much from the previous years. Remember when you just got here to Canada (near the end of Gr 5), and you didn’t even know how to speak English? Guess what? You’re now able to speak English well, and you had a great year in Grade 8. 

Your class teacher was Miss Wong and, she got you to do some calligraphy work for her. Believe it or not, this will become one of your future businesses!! You got a Math award, (ok sure, extreme Chinese for acing Math, but hey, if you’re good at it, you’re good at it right?) You enjoyed an end of year school trip to Quebec, where you and the other girls kept getting in trouble at night because all of you wouldn’t stop laughing and joking around! AND! You wrote a note to your crush, letting him know that you liked him! (Whatttt??? Dang girl! Even though it was super scary, and  nothing happened from it, I am glad you took the chance to express your feelings!)

I know that high school wasn’t the best. I remembered on the first day of your keyboarding class, you asked this girl sitting next to you this awkward question, and she hated you for the rest of the semester, and you wished that you could turn back time and take those words back, I know GF… 

High school was where you felt alone most of the time, and more than once you thought about ending it all, but I just want you to know that you are way stronger than you look. You were able to get past some of the darkest hours. And this became the foundation of being different from others, standing alone from the crowd. So hang in there. I want you to know how proud I am of you, and I want you to know that you got this! I want to give you tons of hugs, so you know that you are not alone, it’s ok to be different, and that I love you no matter what. 

To my 24 yo self. 

DANG GF! Guess what? You just graduated from it all! (Actually not really yet) And you’re now working as a radiation therapist!!!! You started working on Jun 28th, and I’m so proud of you! 

It’s been a few years of many late nights til early mornings, hearing the birds chirp just as you were about to close your books. 

You almost failed a few times, and I know how devastating it was, sitting with the instructors to talk about the next steps. Your heart pounded and your brain twisted as you went through all those assessments throughout the intern years. You sat through two days of exams, and showed up to the interview that got you through the door. 

Everything paid off. 

I just want you to know that, as a girl who is never satisfied… you’re going to want more, and that is ok. This is where you get to explore who you are, what you want, try things out, learn about yourself. These years are going to be where the resolve to never settle gets stronger. You are going to start exploring different businesses for yourself, failing, doubting trying again… , because there is more to life than you know. 

I want to say that I’m super proud of you. Things are going to be challenging, and this is where it all begins. 

To my 34 yo self. 

These few years had been the most challenging for you. The never ending fights with your parents, it just seems like everyone is against you. 

And you’d been continuously wondering if this the man of your life, yet deep down, you know that he’s the one. 

2014, was the year that you went to Paris on your own. Back then you were interested in making macarons, and you took two classes in Paris. And guess what? You don’t know this yet, and you probably won’t believe it, but in the future, you will go back there to speak on stage as a speaker. 

All of what you’re going through now will pay off. I admire all the times you say yes to yourself, I want to applaud you for doing it even when others (like mom) were so negative at you. And yet, here you are, even in the middle of this darkness, you still went after what’s in your heart. 

Finally, to me, just turning 44.

I am so proud of you. 

You married the man you love, you are an amazing mom to your son. You’d worked through the dark pains and did the healings required to be brave enough to stand up prouder, speak louder, and you’re still on this journey. 

You created 3-4 different businesses and now you’re a coach and speaker. You’re allowing your son to explore his identity all because you allowed yourself to explore your own. You’re getting ready to write your next book. And I can’t wait, I can’t wait to see what happens next!! 

Ladies (of all my past self).. what a journey. 

As I’m here reflecting back, I want to bask in the knowing that I had been showing up for me. I want to thank you for experiencing the dark times, for hanging in there, for doing the hard thing, and for cheering on so loudly. 

I see you, I am here for you, I love you. 

And to my future self, thank you for being here with us. Thank you for shining your light back onto us, letting us know that this is a road worth walking down. 

Thank you Me. 

And I want to thank all the people who had been walking this road with me, cheering me on, lending me your ears, supporting me along the way. 

You know who you are, thank you from the bottom of my heart. 

Birthday dinner at my favourite restaurant

Claudia Chan

Professional Certified Life Coach

TORONTO, ONTARIO CANADA

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