Claudia Chan

Professional Certified Life Coach
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When you feel alone

June 29, 2022

Reflecting back, one of the themes that I kept encountering is feeling alone, or that I don't belong.

I remember the very first time that I felt this way was when my dad dropped me off at a new school when I was 5(or 6) years old.

The entrance to the school was down a set of stone steps, and he walked me down, and when I turned around, he said bye, and he was about to leave.

I started crying, and all I remembered was my dad turned back to look down at me from a few steps above, and he had this helpless smile on his face.

And then another dad was dropping his daughter off. When he saw me, he escorted me inside the school along with his daughter.

I had no recollection of what happened afterwards.

But this feeling stayed with me for a long time. I felt I was alone.

I had to do everything on my own, and I always felt like I had to carry a big weight on my shoulders.

But here's something beautiful after I worked through this story.

I am now focusing on the dad who brought me inside.

I didn't know him. But for a brief moment, he was there for me to get me to the next step.

And I have a lot of those people in my life too.

But what happened was, I was so focused on being abandoned, that I neglected the people who reached out to me.

We're sometimes in so deep of our stories, we failed to notice the bigger picture.

I want you to realize this, if you believe that you're all alone, I want to challenge you to see this wall.

Do you have a wall? A wall you'd built up because of your past painful experiences?

I'm sure you had endured a lot, had gone through a lot. And having a wall is natural.

It is meant to protect ourselves when we were younger.

But what this wall does, in addition to protect us, is it also blocks out other people from reaching out to us.

They may want to help us and support us, but they can't get through to us.

So to break through this wall, you have to learn to do 3 things.

  1. acknowledge that this wall is present
  2. learn to love yourslef
  3. start working on your beliefs to break this wall down

I have recorded a podcast episode about this. If you're interested in it, I'd love for you to have a listen to it!

And I'm excited to share with you that, I've officially changed the name of my podcast from Love Shine Flourish back to Extraordinary Asian Women.

It took me a long time to get back to embrace my root, which I am an extraordinary asian woman.

Also, IF you live in Toronto, and if you're an immigrant to Canada, I want to introduce you to an event!

The Immigrant Women in Business is hosting an event called Women's Empowerment, Social impact, Diversity, Equity & Entrepreneurship. It's an event for you if you want to network, and find a group of people who is more than willing to support you! I'm one of the sponsors for this event, so if you're interested in it, come talk to me!

I want you to know that you're not alone, you don't have to do this by yourself. There are people who are here for you, and I'm also one of them.

Book a session with me now if you want someone to help you break down this wall.

Claudia Chan

Professional Certified Life Coach


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