As humans, we have a powerful pre-frontal cortex that help us create meaning, to remember the past, to plan for the future, etc.
We also have a primitive brain, which is the part of the brain that keep us safe, avoid pain, seek pleasure, and be as efficient as possible.
This is our subconscious mind.
Remember the first time you learned how to drive a car? You use your conscious mind to actively learn how to drive.
As you master this skill, you no longer have to pay as much attention to the action itself. While driving, you can start thinking about other things, or have a conversation with others.
Think about the last time you drove, but you barely remembered the drive itself.
That is the subconscious mind functioning under our awareness. And it is in charge ~95% of the time.
It helps us survive, live day to day, doing the same thing over and over again. If we stop consciously directing our brain to do something, the subconscious mind will take over and default to the every day activity.
Also, while growing up, we develop certain beliefs about the world. These beliefs are generated based on what we saw, how we were treated, the experiences we encountered first hand, etc
We drew conclusions of how this world is like, and we develop a set of beliefs based on our experiences, and we are shaped based on these beliefs.
Beliefs such as:
No one really cares about me.
You have to work hard to make money.
I can only depend on myself.
All the guys I find are always using me.
These beliefs are not always true. Sometimes, these beliefs are developed in order for us to survive while we were young. It was meant to protect us.
But as we keep growing, these beliefs end up keeping us stuck in some way, and we end up in a cycle.
For example, maybe you were yelled at by your parents whenever you spoke up. And you got scared, so you stopped speaking up. So when someone starts yelling at you, you find yourself holding back. Even when you really want to speak up, you find it very difficult to do so. And you keep finding yourself “attracted” to these people in your life.
The truth is, there is nothing wrong with any of these beliefs, there is nothing wrong with you.
As a matter of fact, your brain is functioning really well. It had kept you safe all along.
And at the same time, your pre-frontal cortex is now telling you, “It’s time to speak up and stand up for yourself!” Because you’re tired of being treated poorly.
And this is where coaching comes in.
Coaching allows you to dig deeper to find out what exactly are your beliefs around anything you want to work on, so that you can become conscious and aware of it.
Remember, your subconscious mind is working continuously under the radar.
If you don’t pay attention to it, it will take over.
Coaching gives you a chance to slow down and pay attention to you, so you can get to know yourself some more.
It is also a time for you to give yourself the love and attention, so you can heal from previous wounds and traumatic experiences.
Coaching gives you a chance to see yourself as whole, AND addressing the fact that you want to keep expanding and evolving into a a better version of yourself.
Basically, coaching is like having a best friend who allows you to be truly who you are. This friend knows when to give you the space you need, and when to give you a kick in the butt. Most of all, this friend is willing to walk with you whenever you are afraid to walk on your own.
For me, coaching allowed me to love myself so much, that I don’t need to depend on anyone else. If they are too “freaked out” and want to leave, I let them leave. If they love me and want to stay, that’s the icing on the cake.
And this is what coaching is to me.
It can feel scary to dig deep sometimes, because we don’t like to feel uncomfortable. And it’s all okay. Because you don’t have to do this alone.
If you are interested to find out more about coaching, or try it out first hand. I’d love to gift you 2 free 30min coaching sessions! You can bring any of your problems to me, and we go on a journey to get to know you better.
